This article is solid gold. I'm so glad I found it! I'm going to share it with my fellow parents in my social network. Its advice for parents, educators and kids is approachable, expert, insightful, logical and hopeful. Congratulations to the Patch for finding a contributor of this caliber. I look forward to Ms. Freedman's next post.

@Mimi so glad you're enjoying Judy's new blog. Her first post got some valuable community discussion going following the Karen Klein bullying incident (http://patch.com/B-ZxL) and we're excited to see what she has up her sleeve in coming months.

I second Mimi's comments - good article and things to think about. You often run into bullies in other ways - not what you would normally expect, but the persistent aggressive types. For example, I have a co-co-co-co-worker (friend of a friend of a friend....) who often tells others "Hey - look what a bad thing xxx did, we need to get them in trouble..." or "I'm not doing that because of yyyyy...we need to get them in trouble". Bullying happens at all ages. We just have to recognize it and smile.

Forgot to add the slyly calling people names or giving them inappropriate labels then trying to gain consensus. Take my name for example, Brad "you scamer" Faxton and always referring to me as "You scammer" is a great example of bullying.

Excellent article! Don't forget to encourage the parents to teach this to their children not only at a young age, but while they are in middleschool and high school. Remember we live on the north shore and the entitlement here is BIG!

Great article on this important topic. My eleven year old daughter's teacher told me a story about how Emma stood up to a bully who was tormenting another boy on the playground at school. Emma went right up to him, got in his face and said,"That's bullying. Stop it. Leave him alone." When the bully tried to deflect, she said, "No. What you're doing is NOT ok. Stop it RIGHT NOW" And once she stood up to the bully the crowd of onlookers dispersed and the bully was deflated. Her teacher said they had seen a video about bullying a couple weeks before and it must have really sunk in because my daughter was saying almost word-for-word the things she had seen in the video.
I was so proud of her. If anyone doubts whether the anti-bullying stuff they do at school has any impact, this is evidence that it is helping.

Karen, You are so right that teaching empathy to our kids is an ongoing process that requires consistent reinforcement and review through the years!

Great article going to share on facebook

I think the whole bully thing is no big deal. It's part of life. If you get bullied, take control and do something about it. It is just part of life for some. It builds character. Sometimes you just need a thick skin. We baby people these days in this rediculous PC world of ours. Nobody wants to take responsibility for themselves. Simply put, if you get bullied, do something about it. Leave the rest of us out of it.

Scott, while I agree that kids need to be able to defend themselves, I also feel that there are too many of us now that have the same attitude as you. You want things to be like they used to be, where people didn't get babied "in this ridiculous PC world of ours", but at the same time you forget that people used to take care of each other, neighbors helping neighbors. There are other ways to build character and thick skin. Please don't confuse empathy with babying.

Is there a difference between raising children today and those raised forty years ago? Yes & No - I would like to think I've tried to raise my children with similiar values as my parents but the difference I see is the influence of tv, the internet, cell phones, etc. Weekly my 16 yr old daughter relates the "drama" involved with her group of friends. Their ability to create problems out of nothing amazes me. I am constantly telling my daughter (and now her friends) to act with grace and just because something is true it doesn't necessarily need to be said (as in that is the ugliest shirt, hair do, etc). I recollect my childhood as a place where my parents stressed certain behaviors because it was the right thing to do - be fair, honest, helpful to others. Many in society today look at bad behavior as an entertainment source. My hope is that my kids will grow up with the ability to be discerning, polite but strong adults who will help as needed, stand up to unfair treatment and learn to steer clear of those with behaviors that are wrong.

Molly brought up an important point: is there a difference in raising children today than (I will change the time since I am a grandmother!) 25 years ago? Yes. There definitely is. Parents today cannot possibly monitor the type & rate of varying influences bombarding their children's lives. Parenting, in my opinion, is much more difficult today. In addition, we have seen a cultural deterioration of what is deemed "entertainment": reality television reveling in abhorrent behavior & mistreatment of people. That being said, I still believe we can raise strong & moral children because THEIR parents are strong and moral. The messaging and teaching needs to come from home.
I will also add that the most vicious and sustained bullying one of my children experienced was at the hands of two different teachers. Absolutely nothing can be done to change that. They have tenure. In fact, one is still in District 67 and one recently retired. It has been 15 years. When children are in an atmosphere where the adult in control sets the tone that it is okay to ridicule, I'm not sure how much coaching on empathizing is going to matter.

My daughter was intensely cyberbullied by 10 kids in 3 HP middle schools and one Catholic school. Yes, there is a big difference in bullying now versus 25 years ago. 25 years ago, kids might get bullied at school but once they got home, home was a sanctuary away from the bullying. Now, with facebook, instant messaging, etc. there is no escape from the bullying. I was also bullied when I was younger and no one did a thing about it. My parents told me to ignore them. Now that I am a parent, I would NEVER tell my child to ignore the bully. Why should the bullies get away with tormenting other kids? If these were adults, the police would charge them with stalking, harrassment, etc. Why should it be any different for kids? The harm is intense. When my daughter was at the Highland Park in-patient unit, all of the kids had been bullied. When I went to a program at Alexian Brothers, kids who had gone through their in-patient, partial hospitalization and other programs spoke up and talked about the emotional damage they suffered at the hands of bullies. Thank goodness they were there to talk about it. The speaker spoke about, and showed photos, of young kids who took their own lives because they saw no way out.

Actually kids shouldn't use computers or cell phones until they are much older.

Cell phone radiation lobotomizes the neocortex (higher thinking segment of the brain), and many prestigious private schools where filthy rich send their kids to school, do not allow the kids to use computers or internet, unless it is for a class assignment research program. Perhaps that is extreme, but obviously this technology is all relatively new given we have only had it for a few decades now and have seen massive new cases of ADHD, and autism. Mark Zuckerberg from facebook actually called users of his website idiots for using the site. Given that it is a complete breach of privacy and you are no longer allowed to delete your account.

There are alot of people waking up who are anti genetically modified foods too (GMO), Monsanto that makes poison(s) that kill insects has found ways of binding the pesticides inside of the crops to make them more profitable and thus it is causing cancers and more problems on human health. California may be the first state in the country to make it law to label whether or not a product is genetically modified or not.